When was the last time your confidence took a knock? Part 1

 When was the last time your confidence took a knock?

Is confidence actually fragile?
If confidence can be broken, how can I rebuild it?

Part 1

I had a lot of trouble during primary school. My grades were bad, I didn't like going to school and I got punish a lot. I actually almost got expelled once but that's another story. Then when I was turning 12, my parents got me 1:1 lessons with a chess coach, I started getting better and being able to answer his questions and getting positive feedback and encouragement. It made me more confident in my abilities. I then started playing tournaments. My first few tournaments were disasters but as the year progress, the results got better and better. And my confidence grew.

For some reason, confidence growing in chess also improved my confidence in other areas. Its like that saying a tide rises all boats. I did well for UPSR that year. And I never had issues with school after. Exams weren't tough even though I miss 2-4 months of the school year. For UPSR, PMR and SPM I got all A's except 1B. (Same results for each)

Over the last year, I have had to dealt with many kids with confidence issues. Actually one of my current students, when his mum engaged me for chess lessons, she said we don't care about the chess now, we are just worried he may have confidence/self esteem issues in school. We hope you can help him to overcome. Over this one year, he not only overcome but now his mum told me she is very happy that he is actively asking to have chess lessons with me and showing interest and initiative (a far cry from one year ago). You see, when you are confident, you dare to take risk, to ask for things you want and to do things you want because when you are confident, you trust your ability.

It is only this last few days that I noticed the similarities between my childhood and this kid as well who is more or less the same age as me when I first had to learn to overcome these confidence issues.

Just this week, one parent called me to ask about her son's progress. And I told her I realized this last 3 months of so, he started to have more fear when he plays. And he starts to have low confidence of his ability even though he has shown he can beat players of FM to IM strength on occasion.

There is this saying that says if you spot it, you have it.

After the phone call, I was thinking about what lesson I wanted to share on my fb page. And then I realized I myself am currently struggling with my confidence as well.

It took me a month to finally admit it.
To find out more, see Part 2.

Originally published 3rd July 2021