When was the last time your confidence took a knock? PART 3

 When was the last time your confidence took a knock?

Is confidence actually fragile?
If confidence can be broken, how can I rebuild it?

Part 3

In the post yesterday, I spoke about broken confidence and also lessons. And today I will talk about some ways to rebuild it.

I am not an expert in this and I don't think this works for everyone and definitely it doesn't work for me every time.

But I feel confidence comes from certainty.

There is this chess workshop I teach on chess classics and chess strategy where I speak about the Sun coming up in the morning and then sets followed by the Moon coming up. I ask the group how sure are you that tomorrow when you wake up you will see the Sun, they all say 100%. You say it without hesitation. Or if I Say 2+2, they will shout out 4. No doubt, no hesitation. You are confident. Because you are sure. And being sure comes from being certain. ie. certainty.

So whenever I try and rebuild my confidence or try and be confident. I go back to my routine. The routine of what made me feel successful or became successful last time.

So go back to that. The funny thing about this current situation I find myself in is that the routine I did before to get the success I used to get is the very same routine I did (plus more) that led me to the broken confidence in May. So now going back to using parts of that routine might not help.

So then here is another thing that might help.

Have a PLAN.

Because having a plan gives you some degree of certainty.

Today (I am writing this on 2nd July now), I just wrote down on a piece of paper 2 things I want to get done for the month of July. Its not exactly the routine things I did in April and May. And I know I can create a routine of 30min/day to achieve those two things.

And if that fails, the 3rd thing that you can do is to make a drastic change.
Any change. This one is hard. Because for the whole of June, there was this change I was thinking of making. But til now, I don't want to make it. Like I feel like doing this. But I am not willing to make that change. Perhaps this is the hardest one. Today I actually asked my wife could you help me stay accountable to this change. I told her I want to do this thing before December this year.

I am feeling a lot better now. The negative emotions are still there. But after writing all these and thinking it through, I am a step closer to dealing with it and using it to help me.

Thanks for reading. Hope you let your child read it too.